Thursday, August 27, 2009

"outfit post"

The outfit post; a common phenomenon in today's "blogosphere," kiddies, not just a western frontier trade center for all of your tack, rifle, and jerky needs. Most often seen in the blogs of young women between the ages of 17-29, in which the designer "steals" (? Should clothing really be so expensive and fetishized that finding something which does not break the figurative or literal bank feel like stealing?!?!) are matched with the token awkward-chic thrift store/random vintage "finds" to create a visually interesting, although not entirely original, style.

Haha, just kidding there, I really do love reading fashion blogs because, let's face it, all my clothes are black and navy and inconspicuous; after an extended flirtation with wild, crazy clothes (crazy prints, leggings, weird shoes, etc.), I just felt costumey and uncomfortable and bad. So now all I wear is like, black skinny jeans and tee shirts every day. Add a scarf, docs, and dad sweater in the winter; subtract these and add flip flops in the summer. That's basically it.

OCD can be manifested as discomfort in clothing, particularly for children. Because obsessive compulsive disorder affects issues relevant to one's age, a seven year old will probably not harbor excessive worries about contracting AIDS or being hit by a car. Rather, as in my case, a kid can fixate on bumps in shoes, wrinkled socks, itchy tights, etc. I remember dressing up to go to church in white stockings, a floral dress, and patent shoes, then RIPPING off the tights, literally, the moment I left the building. I would go to buy shoes and try on fifteen or sixteen pairs, feeling gargantuan bumps and lumps in every pair. I've basically gotten over this, but I still prefer my clothing to be simple and relaxed.

One of my biggest pet peeves is complicated outfits - clothes that don't quite fit, blazers that constrict movement, leggings that fall off your butt. I absolutely adore scarves because having that something around your neck is so comforting - it's like being in a private cocoon, somehow.

Jeans are far and away the only thing I will put on my lower half, except the occasional pencil skirt. They are just the only thing that suits my roof-climbing, pool-hopping, adventure-seeking lifestyle. Who wants to climb anything in a skirt, or leggings, or khakis? The pair I like the most are these Kill City jeans I got on sale at Urban Outfitters, although I'm pretty adept at pegging the legs of regular jeans with the old sewing machine.

American Apparel tee shirts. Do I have to say any more? The tri-blend raglan (although its a pain to wash because it shrinks if you're not careful) in tri-black; the Sebastian Tellier Sexualitee shirt, size +1, in black; the viscose dolman sleeve tee, in, you guessed it, black. That's what I'm comfortable in, because the fabrics are soft, the shapes are sexy and more flattering than a basic shirt, and because I know they are made with fair labor.

Doc Martens - I wanted these for ages but I couldn't deal with the prices, especially because a lot of the new ones aren't made in England anymore and aren't the best quality. I hung in there and got a pair of construction-style ones at No Relation Vintage in New York City (1st street between 12th and 13th - or is it 11th and 12th?). They were 20 bucks, they were made in England, and they are legit. Other than that, I have a pair of gladiator sandals, a pair of converse, and these wonderful but shameful Jessica Simpson black leather studded flats.

Scarves - I have two moroccan cotton ones originally used for turbans, an Hermes silk one (a wonderful graduation present), and a ton of old ones from my grandparents, mother, and thrift/garage sales. I can knit now as well, so hopefully I'll have a chunky red knit one soon.

DAD SWEATERS - this is the most integral, important item in my entire wardrobe. This is the piece de resistance. Brooks Brothers, or any other random dad brand, men's pullovers. My dad started giving his to me when they got holes, because he knew I was weird and wouldn't care. In a small, they are slightly baggy. Mediums and larges, however, dwarf a diminutive female form and take on the drapey, architectural bagginess of Ann Demeulemeester or Margiela. I can't even explain these. Just get one black or grey man's pullover sweater, with a three-button neck and a collar, and you'll see what I mean. With a low-necked tee shirt, a scarf, skinny jeans, and boots, they are incredibly warm, comfortable, versatile, and amazing.

Purses - I get bags at thrift stores and random places. I have a grey hobo that's falling apart that I got for five dollars, a marc jacobs knockoff that I got for 14 dollars, a little long-strapped bow bag that I got in London, an "As Seen on TV" leather satchel with 20,000 pockets, a bow bag from Delias, and an american apparel fanny pack, all in black (except for the hobo and pieces of the MJ knockoff). A bag for me has to be functional - that's basically it. I never really like carrying bags, too easy to lose stuff, but I carry around my wallet, camera, a folding mancala board, a notebook or two, keys, pens, and other various and sundry items.

Makeup and Beauty -

I do not wear makeup for the same reason I don't wear heels, strange clothes, and things that don't fit well; it both requires an upkeep and causes a vague sense of discomfort, which makes me uneasy and uncomfortable and flustered. I used to wear red lipstick all the time in my ska days, and it made me so paranoid that I couldn't handle it. Makeup should really only be worn by those willing to perform the upkeep anyway - I always ended up looking like a deranged clown by the end of the day. If I have zits, the opinion generally is, who cares - not I, certainly.

Manicures and Pedicures - a waste of time. People who spend that much energy being grossed out by someone else's feet aren't worth your time. And manicures chip off in about thirty seconds anyway.

Hair - Mine is in good condition, because I went through a long and scarring phase where it was damaged and ugly. Now I just use some random, awful shampoo - I don't use conditioner right now, because this shampoo makes my hair greasy enough. Right now I use either Axe body wash or some other manly brand, because I like gender-bending and because it smells delicious. That's it.

Glasses. I wear them. Always have. Contacts just... don't go in my eyes. Plus, glasses kind of give off a "Get Lost" vibe - I once read an article that suggested glasses serve as a buffer to keep men from staring at your body - they seem serious and make you seem like you could kick some ass if you had to. This is assuming you wear serious glasses.


I am decidedly not into most feminine things, but by god, JEWELRY. I make a lot of my own necklaces with soda tabs, found washers, chains, subway tokens, etc., and I buy a ton of cheap earrings at this great boutique in town. There is something so, so incredible about adorning oneself with jewelry. I wear skinny chain necklaces with one small charm, sleek modern post earrings, ghetto hoops (like everyone), and jewelry with meaning.


  1. You said you hate people who wear black in another blog yet you are now admitting that you own only black and navy. Ohh yea, learn to write complete sentences. WOW.