emily's interpretation of our neighborhood.

hilarious words in red.

emilyk said...
Unlike the "quasi-medieval shire" feeling you get from our hood, K-dubs, I get more of a sense of bizarre detached Italian voodoo. This may be because I live on Forest avenue, a lower tier than Crane street in the caldwell heirarchy. My driveway is basically this ghetto alley. My dad calls it a parking lot, and whenever i drive people who have never been to my house into my driveway, they always start like buggin out and they say "oh, is this a shortcut?" Or "Do you really live in that decrepit aqua-colored barn?" Actually, that barn has just been converted into a musical instrument shop. At any rate, the intersection of Hatfield and Forest is chill in the summer because you can just lie in the middle. Don't ask. It's kind of a sick vehicular-manslaughter-russian-roulette. Only thing that blows is that there are always pigs. I once bent over on a seemingly still night to dump a 2-Liter bottle of diet pepsi into the storm drain. Then a pig just creeped up from behind and was all like "WOOP WOOP" and the officer told me not to pour motor oil in the storm drain. Jesus. The shistiest thing that happened though is when I decided to mail about thirty letters in the forest ave mailbox at around half past one in the morning. This old woman in a trench coat and a ferocious dog strolled past me three times in a row. And as if that bitch weren't suss enough, this white ferrari (i know, right?), i'm pretty sure it was a freakin F430 spider, pulls up and the guy gets out and gives the lady a flat white package and drives away. Just thought I would give you another side of this uhhh "urban ghetto" we live in.
December 10, 2008 1:43 PM